it's been 2 years now and its coming back for no reason at all.
no, i dont miss YOU at all. its been 2 years, oh no wait, 3 years!
and i am SO over you.

but its just that feeling i've longed for since u left.
that feeling of having someone that u can trust.
someone who would be there for u no matter what and when.
someone whom you can rely on and would never judge u no matter what.
someone whom u can confide in.

that old mushy feeling.
i.miss.that.

you've turned me into who i am now.
i am stronger, undeniably.
but i've lost the will to love, to care for someone else besides myself.
i became someone who's afraid to express her own feelings.
i lost hope, completely.

until the day comes, i will remain cold.
until he finds me, i will be emotionless.
until love found me, i will keep on waiting even for a hundred years (if i can live that long).

the one who will love me for who i am and what i am not.
the one whom i can argue with day and night.
that open arms welcoming me, providing me warmth and security.
i can be myself around him, not faking a single thing just to make him stay.
he who laughs with me, cries with me, cares for me.
that simple question that always have a comforting effect like "sayang, how's ur day?"
compliments me when i'm having my worst hair day just to make me feel better.
saying sweet things when i'm having a bad day at work.
encouraging me to improvise myself so that i'll be a better person day by day.
cancel the plans he made with his friends just to look after me when i'm sick.
looks at me with so much love inside of him when i'm not looking.
telling his friends that he wants me to be the mother to his children.

and after 50 years of marriage,
he looks at me in the eyes. that same deep stare he gave me 50 years ago with the same feeling of love, only now, it is much stronger.
telling me how beautiful i still am to him, despite of all the wrinkles on my face.
saying that he loves me and that how grateful he is to be loved by me.

that's all i'm asking for.
and what's a girl got to do to make her dreams come true?
she will keep on waiting, silently, wishing really hard that God will give her a chance live out her dreams.