I keep on asking myself the same question over and over again for the past couple of months. All those yelling, calling names, blaming others are not gonna make things better. I just can't understand why is it so hard for you to realize that all this fucked up crazy shit things you've been doing lead to nowhere and you're risking the most valuable thing in your life!
Why why why?
It's just so heart wrecking to watch how drastic you have changed only in these past 3 months. My feelings were torn apart when you favour them instead of us, who used to be your favourite people in this entire planet. It's killing me inside that you keep on pushing us away when we have put our endless effort to close the gap between us and to please you, but yet we failed miserably.
There were times when I got so mad at you, and it wasn't because I hate you. How could I ever hate you when you are someone who means the whole world to me? I admit that I have said hurtful things to you but not because I hate you, but those words came out due to my disappointment in our failures to maintain what we used to have for almost 25 years.
It gets even more depressing when you keep on giving stupid excuses and illogical reasons for not spending time with us. Reasons which don't make sense only to avoid being in the same room with us. Why? Why would you want to throw us away? And you continue being in denial every time we start to discuss this with you. You never admit that you have changed in almost every aspect although I know deep down you realized what you have become.
I pray that you will soon realize that you are throwing away your only treasure for some temporary fun. Nothing in this short-lived world is permanent. Beauty, youth, money, recognition and other worldly pleasures won't last long. In the end, your 'ibadah and deeds are the only things that matter. And not forgetting, "du'a anak untuk kedua ibubapanya".
I will keep on praying for you, hoping that one day you'll wake up and fix the damage you have caused, acknowledge those who sincerely love you for who you really are. I pray that Allah will continue giving us patience as much as possible, granting us strength to go through this delicate phase in our lives.
All I want you to do is try to open your heart, even just a little, for us because I strongly believe that the power of love is greater than anything. But if you keep on pushing us away, I'm afraid that by the time you come to your senses, we won't be here waiting for you any longer. I hope you don't have to hear us say that we are done trying.
We love you.
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